The Unsilent Killer: Gossiping Exposed - Part 1

"There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers." - Proverbs 6:16-19

The elephant in the auditorium I plan on addressing this weekend is very near and dear to my heart. In all of my years of church attendance I have never seen anything more destructive to the Body of Christ than someone stirring up "dissension among the brothers"; a.k.a., gossips.

I'm one of the most easy going human beings you will ever run into, normally. I don't wander the earth seeking for reasons to get upset or offended. I accept that we're all sinners, myself definitely included, and as such we are capable of tremendous damage to ourselves and each other. So when I see or hear of church people committing immoral or selfish acts, I don't usually react out of emotion. I'm normally moved to attack immorality with godly love and a desire to bring healing and help instead of judgment and condemnation...except when it comes to the sin of sowing discord among the brethren.

If you want to see me come out of my skin, all you have to do is come to a church I pastor and try to start an insurrection. Just ask those who have tried it in the last 7 years; I don't play. I say this without apology or hyperbole; I detest gossiping with every cell in my body. I know first-hand the damage that has been done to the body of Christ by carnal, short-sighted hypocrites who think it is their right and privilege to spew rumors and tales about their brothers and sisters in Christ. It isn't pretty and it's caused nothing but destruction.

I pull no punches when it comes to this malady. I don't care how old someone is nor how much tenure someone may have at a particular church. I have learned over the years to attack this disease of the soul quickly and expediently. My desire is to remove the cancer, not the patient. That said, if someone proves themselves stubbornly unteachable on this subject and refuses to stop bearing tales, I have absolutely no problem removing them from the congregation as quickly as possible. The damage one gossip can do to a church is incalculable.

You may read this and think I'm getting all worked up about nothing. In my nearly 40 years of church attendance I've seen fist-fights in the church parking lot between deacons, Pastors screaming at church members in the middle of business meetings and vice versa, men cussing each other out at church men's meetings, church splits, church dissolution and worse. All of these fights and splits were directly caused by gossiping; after all, rational people don't just walk up and punch each other without provocation. Some of these explosions came after months of back-biting and rumor spreading. Again, incalculable damage has been done by childish adults who haven't learned the basic premise of Christianity, namely we are to love one another like Christ loves us (John 13:34-35).

Friends, there is absolutely no place in scripture where gossiping is acceptable. You'll never see one syllable of scripture commanding us to run around spreading rumors about each other. As a matter of fact, in the scripture quoted above, there are seven things listed that God "hates". There are several things listed here that are by-products of tale-bearing but just so there's no confusion, God ends the list with the sin of gossiping. God hates it with a passion and I am proud to say I share his hatred for it.

What amazes me is just how many of us are guilty of this sin on a regular basis. I know of great men and women of God who have done great things for God and his Kingdom who have no problem huddling in a corner to talk about a peer, a parishioner or a pastor. I find it almost comical to hear "godly" people gossip about a pastor's perceived false teaching or heresy as if the sin of gossiping isn't as destructive (if not more so) as a preacher teaching some false truth. I agree false doctrine is dangerous but where do false teachers fall in God's list of seven things he hates? Yeah, I don't see them listed either.

I'll let you in on a dirty little secret. I've learned over the years the worst gossips in the church aren't the lonely old widows with nothing to do but talk on the phone; the worst gossips are often times the pastors themselves. I know I've been guilty of this over the years and I'm definitely not alone. I've been to countless pastor's conferences where the bulk of the conversations were gossip sessions about other pastors. It amazes me how many men of God have been victims of this insidious sin yet have no problem spreading half-truths and outright lies about their peers.

It saddens me that one of the most overriding reputations modern American Christianity has is that we eat our own. I've spent a lifetime watching sharks in sheep's clothing devour one another over pointless, petty, childish disagreements better suited for the playground than a church building. This isn't just childish, it is the pinnacle of social stupidity.

You could say I'm passionate about this subject. It will be hard for me to keep myself in check when speaking about this on the radio. Much like Christ whipping the money-changers out of the temple, I have little to no sympathy for professing saints who think nothing of destroying the reputation and lives of their fellow Christians simply because they feel they have a right to express their opinions.

An even greater problem in our churches is the mixture of gossiping with the dreaded "Cliqueitis" disease. This is a common malady in most of our larger churches but certainly not exclusive to them. Smaller churches have cliqueitis too, they just happen to have only one clique and you're usually not welcome in it.

If you don't know what "cliqueitis" is, it's the social disorder wherein human beings form groups or "cliques" who then start beating each other's brains in. Friends and family members can quickly become the Hatfields and McCoys with a breakout of cliqueitis.

Forming a clique isn't inherently bad or dangerous; birds of a feather flock together and nowhere is this more true than in church. Whenever human beings congregate in large numbers it is a natural inclination of man to gravitate to those who look, sound and think like we do; a bonus is if they have the same hobbies and interests.

That's all well and good until someone in the "Hatfield" clique upsets someone in the "McCoy" clique. One such story I have involves a church chili cook-off where chili-preparer "Hatfield" took great offense at Judge "McCoy's" judgment of his family chili recipe and the fight was on. When church cliques start warring and competing with one another is when scriptures like James 4 becomes tragically relevant.

In my opinion, this issue isn't brought up enough in our churches. I don't know if pastors are afraid of upsetting the money, ERRRRRRRR, I mean the church members in their churches or not but this subject doesn't get taught near enough. I believe if it was, enough of God's people would be equipped to combat the sharks in our midst. And that's the key to fixing this problem. Educate God's sheep on how to avoid becoming victims of a shark or, even worse, becoming a shark themselves.

to be continued...